Hello, Goodbye
by retrcuvailles
Summary: Beca attends the engagement party of Chloe and Chicago.


**A/N : Hello! It's my first time posting a fic here and I hope you guys like it. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: All the grammatical and typographical errors are mine.**

You don't know why you decided to come but it's not like you weren't invited because you are. You received the invitation through email because you know that's the only source of contact they have of you after you deactivated your social media accounts and change your number. But as you sat in that corner of the club the party was in, you wished that you also changed your email.

You watched as she danced to every beat of the music that is playing all over the club, you watched as her hair bounced with every move she makes and you watched as she wraps her arm around his neck. You downed your vodka shot, hoping it'll wash away the hurt you're feeling inside.

It wasn't her fault that your relationship with her ended anyway. And it will never be her fault that you left her standing at the altar on your wedding day. It was yours.

You let those insecurities ate you up, you let them feed you with lies, with things you know would never happen but you thought about it anyway. You let those motherfucking insecurities got the best of you so you left your beloved because you thought that was the best. But it wasn't.

It would have been avoided if you only talked to her. If you reached out and told her the fears that you have, if you just let her consoled you the way she know how. But you didn't.

And here you are, swallowing down the tight knot in your throat, trying your goddamn best to not cry, hoping and praying that she won't see you because you know if she did, you won't be able to take it.

As you downed your last shot of vodka, the music change to a very familiar song, that very song you sang when you first met, the song that became the theme of your relationship. Titanium.

You let out a bitter chuckle as tears slowly well up in your eyes and you watch as she stop dancing, freeze on the dance floor as everyone continues. And you feel like the time stop as she slowly turn her head to your direction, as if knowing that you are there, you hold your breath as she continues to stare while in the sea of drunk friends and fiancé, you hope and pray that the dark spot you are in will help conceal the fact that you are there.

You watched it in slow motion as she slowly gasped, her hand coming up to clench the part where her heart is as if this moment is tearing her heart apart. But maybe it is. You watched as that beautiful bright blue eyes of hers wells up in tears and you know, she saw you.

And maybe time really did stop at that moment but it sound so fucking cliche that you can't help the snort that came out of you. You stare at her as she stare at you, tears running down her face. And you know without even checking that you are crying too. You let yourself get lost in that moment because it feels like she still loves you and she's still your girlfriend but you fucking know she's not.

It hurts. It hurts to see her but can never touch her. It hurts to know that she's there but she belongs to someone else already. It hurts to know that she's hurting because of you. You, who fucking promised her everything, who promised her that she'll never shed a tear again.

You watched as she turn back to his fiancée who asked her if she's alright, you watched as she smiled as if nothing happened, as if that simple moment didn't happened. And you watched as she wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him down as she presses her lips to his, kissing him with all her might.

You can hear the sound of your already broken heart, breaking into tiny little pieces, making sure that you won't be able to put them back together. You clutched your heart as they continue to kiss, you feel as though you can't breath, as if the walls that you are leaning onto is slowly closing into you.

You managed to avoid as many sweaty bodies as you can while you go make your way to the nearest exit that you see. But with each step you take, you feel as if your losing your will to breathe.

After what felt like hours, you finally managed to get out of that goddamn club. You found yourself leaning on the wall of the back of the club, you can smell the stench of piss and you are pretty sure that someone vomited right next to where you are standing. But you didn't care.

All you care about is calming your breathing down and making sure that your already broken heart is still somehow there and not on the floor of the club you just left.

You can feel the stains of the tears on your cheeks and you tried to wipe them off, hoping that by doing that you're also erasing the memory of what you witnessed. Just by thinking that, you can feel another set of tears brimming in your eyes.

You inhaled and exhaled deeply, making sure that those tears will stay where they are until you get to the safety of your hotel room. As you slowly walk away from the wall you're leaning to, you heard the club's exit door slowly opening.

The sound distract you from your thoughts and somehow you are thankful. You turn her head back and it feels like your world stopped again because right there, standing by the door is her.

You choke on a sob at the sight of her and you don't know whether you want to run away or hug her tight. But you're pretty that the latter is winning. And just when you have the courage to reach out and hug her, a sudden realisation come to mind. She's engaged.

So you stop midway and just awkwardly stand there. You can feel her eyes scrutinising you and you feel smaller than ever. You try to look up to her but the moment you see her eyes, you cower and lower your head down. God, she's so hot when she's intimidating. You thought.

You let out a deep breath and manage to have the courage to finally look at her eyes. And when you did, you feel you are being hit by a train with all the emotions you are feeling inside. For someone so emotionally inept, this doesn't look like you at all.

The tears that you are so badly trying to stop before comes back in full force and a lone tear manage to escape but you are too late to wipe it out because you are pretty sure she saw it.

Her eyes look so blue under the moonlight that is creeping between the two buildings that you both are in. And you can feel yourself being mesmerise just like you did before.

You can't help the small smile that creep up your face because even though this moment is badly ruining you, it's also the reason why you find yourself smiling again after years.

And as you continue to stare at her, the memories of your past come rushing like a bullet train. You feel yourself only muttering a word and apparently she has the same idea when the come tumbling out of your mouths.

"Hello".


End file.
